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Healthy Boundaries and Your Relationship

Written by Abdullah

We are taught that relationships are just about giving to your partner and “completing” each other. This idea is, to some extent, accurate, but it is not all you need for a healthy relationship. The idea is that there should be mutual understanding. You don’t need to be entangled with your partner. It leads to your relationship becoming unhealthy.  For you to grow with your partner, healthy boundaries need to be set.

We cannot ignore the importance of healthy boundaries. We often feel hurt and disheartened by the actions of our partner because we had the notion that they would never do such a thing. So,, why do you think this happens? Actually, It is the lack of communication about things you can or cannot do in a relationship; it is the lack of healthy boundaries. Instead of getting hurt later in the relationship, you should focus on establishing boundaries beforehand.

In this article, Special Matrimony will discuss what exactly are boundaries, what is their importance, and how can you set them in your relationship with your partner.

What exactly are boundaries?

One of the essential components that can help maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship is knowing how to set boundaries. Simply put, boundaries are the things that you do not want your partner to be doing. Your boundaries are likely to be different from what other people consider to be their boundaries. But, it is not always easy to set boundaries; however, it is always beneficial and advisable.

How you find and evaluate your boundaries can be a challenging process. Your boundaries are the space outside of what you restrict yourself to in a relationship. Your boundaries may depend on your upbringing, your past relationships and experiences, and your past traumas. This implies that the preferred boundaries in a relationship can be different for everyone.

Think of building a house; you would start with the foundation, not with the rooftop. Boundaries work similarly. It would be best if you created healthy boundaries at the start of your relationship to be embedded in the foundation on which your relationship stands. Maintaining your identity while keeping a relationship built on trust, growth, mutual respect, and love can only be made through boundaries where you two do not “mesh” into each other.

How to Set Boundaries with your Significant Other?

Building healthy boundaries can be challenging. Whether you just got into a romantic relationship or just celebrated your fifth anniversary, healthy boundaries are crucial. Now, how can you set healthy boundaries in your relationship that benefit both of you? Let’s discuss it in steps.

1. Reflect upon your preferences:

Before implementing or creating boundaries with your partner, you need to think about your preferences first. Know where you need to create boundaries. Topics like which relationship dynamic you would like should be discussed with your partner. Things that you like, things that you do not like, take all of them into consideration. You might need to sit down with your partner and discuss in detail what you prefer and what you do not.

In the process, you will learn a number of things such as sexual boundaries, emotional boundaries and other boundaries which involve external relationships. Sexual boundaries help you establish a certain level of trust and feel safe in an intimate relationship. Instead of getting professional help later in the relationship regarding sexual boundaries, you should deal with them beforehand to make sure that the intimacy is enjoyed by both and not just one of you.

Other boundaries may involve emotional boundaries, such as reacting to certain things in specific ways. Emotional boundaries are abstract boundaries, and you can stretch and restrict them according to your needs. Boundaries revolving around external relationships are often overlooked. At the same time, one of you might be okay with the other doing certain things with their friends; the other one might not be okay with that. It is of utmost importance that you reflect upon the things you and your partner like and the things you two do not, and find a safe space between them.  

2. Communicate your boundaries to your partner:

Communicating about your boundaries with your partners is another one of the essential things in a relationship. Letting your partner know about your preferences and getting to learn more about theirs can prove to be extraordinarily beneficial for you in the long run. But, unfortunately, many of us fall prey to the behaviour that our partner can “guess” what our boundaries are. To effectively function in a healthy relationship, we need to get rid of this approach.

Let your partner know about your sexual boundaries; let them know what you like in sexual intercourse and what you do not. Getting to know their boundaries is also essential as it is a two-way process. Get to learn more about their emotional boundaries and tell them about yours. It all matters in helping you manage your relationship boundaries without a hassle.

3. Take the responsibility of respecting each other’s boundaries:

Reflecting on and communicating your boundaries is not enough. You need to actively communicate and take responsibility to respect each other’s boundaries. If your partner does not like that you sometimes become supercilious during heating arguments, you have to take the responsibility of not doing that again. In response, they will avoid exploiting your boundaries. This is how it works. As a result, there is mutual understanding between the two of you, which ends up in your relationship becoming more vigorous than ever.

Special Matrimony:  

Special Matrimony aspires to unite lovers of all kinds. Marriage is a beautiful connection between two people and, we believe that it’s a sequence that should be made memorable. Our unique match-making platform aspires to connect people from around the world. Furthermore, we aim to connect people with certain conditions such; as autism, deafness, and countless more. Here at Special Matrimony, we believe in three things: Love, Harmony and, Joy.  For further information, be sure to contact us.

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