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Jealousy and your Relationship

Written by Abdullah
partner showing jealousy

Jealousy is a terrible and strong feeling that has the potential to ruin virtually any relationship. Jealousy, if left unchecked, may drive a permanent gulf between you and your spouse. It may as well have a detrimental impact on future relationships. It affects not only you but also your partner as well as your relationship. So, when you start noticing the early signs of jealousy, make sure to treat it right away. This way, you can make sure that it does not grow enough to be harmful to your relationship.

So, if you or your partner has any problems regarding jealousy, you should discuss them right away. You should find a solution that works out for both of you.

When it comes to jealousy, where does it come from?


Jealousy stems from a sense of insecurity and a lack of confidence in one’s relationship. Jealousy and Envy can sometimes become confusing. Envy and jealousy are, in reality, quite comparable emotions. Jealousy is characterised by a sense of possessiveness and entitlement. In contrast, an envious person covets what another person has–their belongings, positions, advantages, or even who they are as a person (their looks).

To prevent others from taking away what they already have–usually their romantic partner– a jealous person clutches firmly to what they already have. Envy and jealousy may be pretty harmful when they spiral out of control. Both of them are negative emotions that can leave a pretty bad effect on your relationship. But you should understand that jealousy occurs due to some reasons, and if you eliminate those reasons, you stop being jealous. Sure, it is a negative feeling, but you can treat it with positive emotions to make it go away.

What Should I Do If My Partner Is Jealous?

It can prove to be bad for you when your partner becomes extremely jealous of you. Remember, do not lose control but try to solve it with your partner. You can do it by addressing the problem lying underneath. If your partner is jealous, sit down and talk to them about anything that bothers them. Moreover, do something on your own that can tone down their jealousy a little bit. As discussed earlier, possessiveness is one of the main reasons for jealousy, so make sure you treat that first.

It may be exhausting to have a jealous partner. You can only take so much possessiveness, control, and questioning. However, there are a lot of things you can do to help your relationship become healthy. Here are some pointers:

  • Listen to your spouse with fresh ears to pick up on all of their issues.
  • If you know which habits make your significant other jealous, try to change them if possible.
  • Make a list of the things you admire most about them, and reassure them that you are dedicated to the relationship.
  • Tell your lover what you want out of your relationship the most. For example, “I want you to quit being jealous!” isn’t enough.
  • Keep in mind that a strong and healthy relationship requires the participation of both parties. If your spouse is unwilling to change or seek assistance, you may make changes in yourself that significantly influence your life.

Recognise your triggers.

In a relationship, jealousy might stem from your weaknesses rather than your partner’s actions. For example, if you’ve experienced traumatic events in the past, you could be prone to envy. Therefore, it’s critical to share these experiences with your spouse. This makes sure that you are aware of and respect each other’s triggers.

Low self-esteem or a negative self-image might lead to jealousy. It might be challenging to think that your spouse loves and values you if you don’t feel beautiful or confident. Unreasonable expectations about a relationship can also trigger jealousy. Spending 100 per cent of one’s time with one’s relationship is unhealthy. To maintain your relationship, you need gaps in your togetherness.

It’s important to remember that sentiments aren’t facts. Is it possible that you see things that aren’t there? Is this going on? Let go of the negative ideas if the answer is no. Before deliberately discarding them, acknowledge them.

Jealousy may become an issue if it affects your conduct and how you feel about the relationship as a whole. Here are some warning signs of pathological jealousy.

  • Unauthorised access to your spouse’s phone or email
  • Defaming your partner
  • Assume your partner isn’t interested in you.
  • Interrogating your spouse throughout the day about their whereabouts
  • Accusing your spouse of lying without evidence

Most Importantly; Talk To Your Partner!

Jealousy, like many other problems that arise in a relationship, can be solved by good communication. Effective communication in a relationship and in general is so important that you would be surprised by its effect on our relationships and our lives in general. Maybe your partner has an underlying issue and doesn’t feel comfortable talking to you about it, and it’s your job to tell them that they can talk to you anytime they want about anything without having the fear of being judged.

Address jealousy with your partner and let both of you present your point of view. Most of the time, communicating your issues with each other solves problems. For example, maybe your partner feels jealous about you being close to your coworker because they had a similar experience in the past, and it did not turn out well. You never know until they tell you about it. So, encourage your partner to talk to you and address your problems.

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