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How To Balance Responsibilities In Marriage

Written By:
Syra Salam

Marriage is not a bed of roses. Marriage is a big decision, and it sure comes with lifelong commitments and responsibilities. Once the honeymoon period is over, you will start feeling the duties that have now become a part of your life after tying the knot. In addition, you will feel your lifestyle getting changed. The life that you lived previously for yourself will now start revolving around your significant other. It is highly likeable that you will transition into a selfless person as you have to care about your partner’s welfare most of the time. It would feel as if a whole new world has been opened before you. 

Sounds much overwhelming? It sure is. The responsibilities in marriage can get too much to bear. However, it does get easy when you have a supportive partner who knows how to carry out their responsibilities. Things can get even easier if both partners fully understand their responsibilities in each other’s lives. Moreover, a good partner will also help you in fulfilling your responsibilities whenever you feel the need. 

So how can a couple balance out their responsibilities in marriage? 

Keep Realistic Expectations 

It is natural to expect your partner to take part in their distinct roles. For example, if you are a wife, you expect your husband to earn a good living. In the same way, if you are the husband, you would expect your wife to do all the house chores. And when things do go as you expected, you start pointing fingers at your husband or wife. You keep scores, insult, and blame your partner instead of solving the problem. This is where the tension regarding responsibilities arises.

Consequently, the spark goes off as you expect your partner to be responsible instead of sharing responsibilities together. 

The best way to cope with this problem is to be communicative about the responsibilities. Be open with your partner and share whenever you feel overwhelmed by your distinct role. Moreover, if your partner communicates their concern, it is your responsibility to share their responsibility and help them feel less burdensome. 

Allow your partner to do things as they Like 

responsible couple

It is very usual for couples to get irritated by each other’s habits or way of doing things. For example, you might not like the way the house has been cleaned.  Or you might feel like the laundry is not done right. If things like these bug you, then the first thing you should stop doing is to complain. However, always keep in mind that there is no room for unnecessary criticism in successful marriages. Successful marriages have partners who are willing to distribute the responsibilities in marriage evenly.  

Your complaints would make your partner nothing but infuriated. The first reason for the infuriation is that your partner is highly likeable of having a different idea of perfection. In other words, the idea of a good job on tasks might be different from that of yours. Hence, they carry out their work differently. Therefore it is essential to not find faults in the way your partner does a particular thing. 

If work has not been done yet or has not been done right, then the right way to deal with it is to do it yourself. This will also help you come off as understandable and help your partner feel overwhelmed or burnt out. 

Learning Rather than Winning 

You and your partners are two different individuals with different personalities and choices. Hence, you both would get into loads of arguments. However, your responsibility here would be to learn as much as you can about your partner through these arguments. Know that once you stop caring about who wins the argument, you are close to success. 

No matter how many arguments you both have, you should never lose the ability to deeply listen and understand whatever your significant other has to say. Even if you fail to find common ground, learn to respect and acknowledge each other’s opinions. Conflicts are bound to pop up every now; hence, take learning opportunities out of them. If you focus on winning rather than learning, the intimacy between you and your partner would surely fade away and you would understand the responsibilities in marriage in a better way.

Focus on Improving your Relationship 

improving relationship through responsibilities

One of the most common mistakes that a couple makes is addressing only the bad aspects of their relationship when they are in the middle of a fight. It is very normal for a couple to heat up the argument and bring up the issues. However, the real big deal is to make progress on problems regarding your relationship when you both are defensive and mad. 

You should not talk about improving your relationship only when you are fighting. You should bring up the question of how you can make things better in the middle of a fight as well. Ask your partner ample questions that would compel them to speak up. This would help you to clearly understand where things went wrong and what part you can play to make the problems better. 

It is crucial for both of the partners to always be open to suggestions. Ask your partner what they expect of you rather than telling them what they are doing wrong. Marriage is a blend of two unique individuals; hence, both of you should be flexible, invested, and open for positive change, through this, you can distribute the responsibilities in marriage equally.

Tips for Carrying out the Responsibilities Efficiently 

carrying the responsibilities in marriage efficiently
  • Here are some quick tips that you can follow to carry out your responsibilities in marriage efficiently:
  • Talk about your expectations of each other
  • Communicate all of your concerns openly
  • Do not believe in gender roles and divide the chores equally 
  • Analyze the tasks and make a proper routine
  • Be considerate about the tie management 
  • When your partner is tired, stressed or cranky, avoid having conversations 
  • Explain your sentiments in the best way possible
  • Ask for help whenever needed
  • Do not nag or criticize your partner 
  • Be appreciative of each other 

On the bottom line, couples should always thrive on managing responsibilities together. Carrying out all the responsibilities might be unsettling initially. However, with a supportive partner, it can get easier to a great extends. All you need to do is stamp out the never-ending fights over house chores and be more considerate about the more important things that are part of marriage. This way, you will efficiently handle the responsibilities in marriage.

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