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Marriage: Conversations You Must Have Before

Written by Abdullah
couple after marriage

One of the most important decisions that you will make in your life is to get married. Your marriage affects your future, so it is better to discuss few things with your partner so that after getting married you both will not have any arguments and live happily. It is not wise to get married when you’re not ready as this will rarely end in a happy marriage. First things first, you should reflect upon whether you and your partner are even ready to get married or not.

You should know your partner well before you plan on making a life-long commitment. Firstly, you should get to know your partner correctly to have a problem afterwards. You should know some basic things before marrying which include the ones mentioned above. Some of the other conversations to have are as follows.

Let’s have a look at some of the many things which the two of you should discuss before marriage.

Having A Plan Regarding Children:

Kids after marriage

Honestly, who doesn’t like kids? But after marriage, kids are the most significant responsibility and blessing at the same time. However, you should know the point of view of your partner on kids. Like how many kids does he want? When does he want to have kids? And what if after few years I don’t wish to give birth to a child, so can we do an adoption? Does your wife-to-be even want kids after marriage? Both of you should discuss the matter of children.

One of the basic questions that should be asked before getting married is the matter of kids. After marriage, you might disagree and have heated arguments with your partner on having a difference of opinion. Disagreements regarding kids often end up in arguments, so it is better to discuss it beforehand. Your partner might not be comfortable with having right after or it can be any other issue. Before you get married, you must discuss it with your partner.

Financial Goals After The Marriage:

Financial matters after marriage

No doubt money is one of the sources of stress in the relationship of couples.  There is nothing terrible about having conversations about money and financial goals. However, it would help if you asked everything to clear the confusion. Many disagreements can happen regarding money in your marriage, so it is wise to have your doubts cleared about financial responsibilities before marrying.

How much will they contribute to running the house? Do you believe in gender-based financial expectations? Will you have a joined account? Do you think that your wife should contribute to the house budget? Does your husband like to share financial responsibilities between the two of you?

You should know what these financial goals and investments are. You must discuss financial matters before getting married.

Know Your Partner’s Fears Before Marriage:

Couple comforting each other after marriage

It seems to be an easy question, but the thing is, it’s not! This is something personal that usually, people don’t reveal quickly. Marriage is all about understanding not only their dreams and wishes but their fears and stress too. The more you know the partner, the better bond you both can share. It would help if you asked everything to know your partner in every aspect. If you know your partner’s strengths, weaknesses, abilities and fears, it will help in the long run to have a better relationship overall.

You need to understand that fears can even be regarding kids. Having kids might scare your partner. So, it is your responsibility to have this conversation before marriage and talk to your partner so that it won’t be a problem afterwards. Moreover, you must get to know as much as possible about your partner so you understand them thoroughly before you get into a life-long commitment.

Ask about Medical History:

Comforting hands of married couple

You should know your partner’s medical history and health problems. This is because kids can contract some diseases because of genetics. So, these things must be clear to you. Some people might not have children, and if you want kids, that would be a problem, so you should discuss this beforehand, too. Not knowing much about your partner’s medical history can pose a problem later on in the marriage.

Ask him that does their family members suffer from alcoholism? What is their family medical history? What is their opinion on mental health treatment? It is essential to know all these things beforehand. Let each other know about any of your physical or mental disabilities. It helps both of you develop a good relationship.

Religion and Values:

Religious values after marriage

It goes without saying, you should know about each other’s religion and values. It helps you get a better perspective on the behaviour of the two of you. Know what religious and ethical values your partner holds. Moreover, it enables you to understand your partner’s way of handling conflicts. Your values can change your conflict-resolving behaviour. For example, your partner might want to resolve the matter before the two of you go to sleep, while you may want to take some time. It all depends on values.

When you understand the values of your partner, your relationship becomes stronger. This is because you learn to make healthy boundaries (if you don’t understand the importance of healthy boundaries in your relationship, give this article a read) and respect your partner’s opinions.

Marriage is a huge responsibility. it is a commitment for life. So, before you make such a promise, you should clear these things with your partner. Having all these conversations before you and your partner make loving vows to each other will make your marriage healthy, and your relationship becomes stronger.

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