Coping with Divorce and Separation

Coping with Divorce and Separation

Written By:
Syra Salam

Going through a divorce or a separation can be quite distressing. It is a time where you can be quite sensitive and may require ample healing. The end of a relationship may muster multiple emotions that can be difficult to deal with alone. In addition, divorce stress and the anxiety that separation may bring can have harmful, long-term effects such as trust, and commitment issues. Such consequences can inhibit your self-growth and stop you from pursuing further relationships. Here, we will walk you through and provide you with the necessary tips on how to cope with divorce and separation. 

Talk it Out

One of the most important things you may require in this troubling time is a strong support system. Effective communication whether it is with a trusted family member, a support group of divorcees going through the same emotional and legal process, or with your therapist can be quite helpful. 

By voicing out your feelings, you are already working towards your emotional wellbeing. If you do not in any way feel comfortable talking to someone about your experience, channelling your thoughts on paper by maintaining a journal can be equally as effective. 

The significant takeaway is to not suppress your emotions, but rather find healthy and supportive methods to let your heart speak. 

Nurture Yourself 

Taking care of yourself in this overwhelming process is crucial to remain headstrong and healthy. You can either nurture yourself physically by experimenting with self-care routines, therapeutic shopping sprees, or by treating yourself to a spa date to ease your mind. 

However, emotional nurturing techniques prove to be more effective. By being involved in practices that sustain you emotionally, you are able to fill or replace the void in your heart that you may be experiencing. 

It is the ideal time to get back into your favourite hobbies such as painting, gardening, reading, playing instruments, and etc. As long as you are actually paying attention to your emotional needs, the trajectory of your road to recovery will be on a positive path.

 

Join A Divorce Support Group

While sharing the details of your separation with your close family and friends can be comforting, it just isn’t enough. During this process, you will face an overwhelming number of emotions and decisions to make. Thus, it is important to disclose your experience with other people who have gone through a similar journey. 

In the US alone, it is estimated that one marriage ends every 13 seconds. From these statistics alone, we can gauge several divorcees going through the same experience as you. Hence, a divorce support group is the optimum organization for you to join to gain some closure, and earn a similar person’s advice and sympathy. This is crucial when coping with divorce and separation.

Stick to a Routine 

It may seem like your whole life has turned upside amidst your divorce or separation because things are no longer the same. Thus, it would be helpful to create a routine to stick to in order to regain a sense of normalcy in your life. 

By sticking to a routine and being productive, you can combat the chaos and anxiety that may be lingering in your life. Instead, it is a great way to be energized and gain a new, fresh sense of purpose to get your life back on track. 

Make New Friends 

When you are married to a person, there is a great possibility of you two sharing mutual friends. However, it is realistic to assume that these friends may have to pick a side due to the separation. Thus, you might find yourself getting lonely and not have a shoulder to rely on if your former friends choose to console your spouse. 

In this scenario, divorce support groups turn out to be a fantastic avenue for meeting new people as well. It is always a good idea to go out every once in and a while and socialize with the people around you. 

Not only will this distract you, but by meeting new people with different interests you will be able to explore yourself as well and experiment with your interests and hobbies. 

Avoid conflicts 

For your peace of mind, it is important to realize that arguments and conflicts with your former spouse will just add to all of the problems that you are facing. Therefore, if you find yourself on the brink of a conflict with them, try to excuse yourself and avoid the situation until the moment has passed.

 Additionally, if both of you have kids it is important to remember that the children should not be exposed to any of the arguments either. The kids should not have to experience hostility between their parents. Moreover, it is essential to stop yourself before you are able to badmouth your former spouse in front of your children. 

By doing so, you are able to try to maintain peace and normalcy within the household and care for your children’s mental wellbeing. 

Take A Break

Going through a divorce or separation is mentally and emotionally exhausting. Hence, it is normal to understand that you are not in your highest spirits nor are you motivated. As a result, you might experience your productivity levels drop, and that is completely natural.

 It is important to just get through the day rather than focusing on performing your best. Whether it is at work or pertains to domestic household duties. 

Conclusion 

Ending your marriage with your spouse is one of the most difficult decisions and processes one may ever go through. Although it is taxing in every sense, it is impertinent that you keep yourself grounded. You need to remind yourself that none of this is your fault, or you are the one to blame. Life is a learning experience with several bumps on the road, and you just happen to hit that certain bump. Nevertheless, a long smooth ride waits ahead. 
Take the time to learn more about yourself, explore your interests and your needs, and consider this as a learning experience. By objectively examining yourself, you can understand where you went wrong. Also, what you could do to improve yourself in the future. Coping with divorce and separation will lead to positivity and gear you for your future life.  


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