It is critical to spend time together as a newly married couple while you adapt to your new life. However, do you, at times, feel as if your partner is not making you a priority in the relationship? It can be a frustrating situation if your partner is spending majority of their free time with their friends.
While many men and women need to spend time with friends away from their marriage, it is important to maintain balance. A lack of balance can make both parties, either you or your partner’s friends, feel neglected.
Thus, this article we will be talking you through the reasons why your partner’s spending more time with their friends. And, what you can do about it.
Reasons Why He Is Prioritizing His Friends More
After some time, every marriage reaches a certain stage. You two already know everything there is about each other, and conversations become dull. During such a time in your relationship, your partner may be reaching out to their friends more to make conversation.
Another potential reason may be that your partner does not maintain the same interest as they once did. As difficult as it is to admit this, flames in marriages do die out. However, if you want to keep your marriage alive, you both have to take up the responsibility of communicating more.
So, What Can You Do?
Come to Terms with Your Feelings
Understanding how you feel is the first step toward resolving this issue. Why do you believe this bothers you? Moreover, what factors contribute to making you feel so annoyed?
Look at the circumstances. Is your partner spending more time with their friends now than they did before you tied the knot? Additionally, look at your situation as well. Is your partner simply mirroring your behavior if you have an active social circle?
Do you have an unwelcoming persona, which appears as if you are invading or keeping them away from your home? Are you being honest, or do you have trust issues?
Next, express your feelings to your partner. Tell them you would like to spend more time alone with them. You may or may not wish to spend all of your time alone. Explain, while you respect their desire to spend time with their friends, you also want to spend time with them.
Moreover, avoid scolding him or treating him like a child. It is necessary for you to make it clear. What are your respective positions in the relationship? Sit down and share your feelings. Try to analyze what is going on with each other, and try to reach an agreement.
The last thing you and your lover want is to waste time in a relationship that neither of you commit to nor desire.
Set Guidelines and Boundaries
In an attempt to balance both marriage and friendship, most partners tend to mix both settings together. While it is nice for your partner to involve you in their social circle, it does not replace the intimate gathering you desire. Thus, it is important to set some ground rules with your partner.
Teach your significant other that they should handle “friends” and “partner” separately. If they’re with you, without scolding them, or giving them the quiet treatment, explain the situation.
If they invite you to join them on a night out with friends, you can politely decline the invitation. Instead, you can inform them that you are busy with your own preoccupations. However, if they want to spend one-on-one time with you, they know where to find you.
After doing this a few times, your partner is sure to take a hint, and figure out how to maintain balance.
Additionally, set guidelines for how much time you want to spend together with your partner. Schedule weeknight activities such as eating dinner, watching a movie, engaging in intellectual debate, and so on. Refer back to your earlier agreement if your partner still allows friend time to sabotage these dates.
This activity might help your spouse become more aware of their own priorities. Furthermore, it will allow them to reflect back on how they may be neglecting you. Thus, this can lead to a more meaningful conversation.
Re-Ignite the Spark
One of the biggest reasons they do not spend enough time with you is that they are bored. It could be due to the same routine activities and plans you undertake with each other, as previously said.
Try to think outside the box and plan something adventurous or spontaneously. Go on a random road trip to a distant city, or grab the cheapest flight on a weekend trip somewhere. Visit tourist attractions, and go on romantic picnic dates or cruises.
Moreover, think over any destination your spouse has wanted to go for a long time. These instances of lone interactions will surely be a significant step in garnering their attention.
Listen to Their Feelings
Make careful to inquire about your spouse’s reaction to your feelings. Do they understand and acknowledge what you are saying? What do you think they’re expectations are for their friends now that you both are married? Hear them out and see what solutions they have for the problem. Then you will have to bargain and compromise until you arrive at a schedule and ground rules for having friends around or going out with them.
While it is important for you to discuss with your spouse in maintaining a healthy social life and marriage life, ensure you do not invade their boundaries either. Be aware of your spouse’s desire for companionship.
If they spend a lot of time with their pals, they might not be attempting to get away from you. Instead, they could be attempting to demonstrate that they can maintain a healthy balance in all of their relationships.
Finally, discuss the situation with your partner and come up with a solution jointly. Moreover, avoid speaking negatively about your spouse’s friends as it may come across as disrespectful.
With a decent chat, you and your partner should be able to come up with an agreement. Through this you can celebrate your time together while still respecting your time apart.